The Monk Who Flunked Three Times

Well, we are 2/3s the way through radiation and have eight more photon salvos fired into my medial temporal lobe to go and 11 more days of daily chemotherapy. For those of you who skipped human biology sections on the brain the temporal lobe is helpful in emotional control, following directions, spatial orientation, and short term memory processing. This explains why it can be removed in men and people won’t notice a difference. My surgeon saved about 1/3 of my temporal lobe and that is why I’m still wacky me. He did have to sacrifice my small-talk center which was a vestigial structure anyway and underdeveloped. I consulted a brain rehab specialist about getting my small talk center jump started so I wouldn’t feel self conscious when I got back among my people. He suggested using some commonly appreciated widely disseminated popular themes to notify people that I was struggling to reconnect with the people. So, if we are talking and I casually ask, “do you think Brittany Spear’s navel is starting to sag?” or, is it possible that the universe was once the size of Paris Hilton’s brain?” remember that I am struggling to find another area of the brain that can handle this heady stuff that concerns Americans these days. Feel free to jump to a timeless topic that has trouble philosophers and scientists for eons, like Saint Thomas Aquinas’ question, “how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?”

Speaking of Monks, my head is responding to radiation with selective death of hair follicles that supported luxuriant brown or black hair-always the envy of my wife- with survival of thin gray whispy stuff that makes me look like a monk who was a moral flunk out crossed with Yoda. I”M going to speak to my radiation specialist about a rebate.

I have lost my Vim and Vigor with this “treatment” and have sent out a mayday call for anyone with surplus Vim to beam me some and I’ll send it back with interest better than you’ll get at any bank.

This being Sunday we should have more religion than the mention of St Thomas Aquinas and other monks. So here it is:

The American Indians taught by the oral tradition-like the Israelites. An elderly Indian was talking to his grandson about the conflicts that go on inside people. The battle is between two “ wolves” inside all of us.

One is evil, filled with anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and resentment.

The other wolf is good, filled with joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, kindness, benevolence, truth, compassion, and faith.

The grandson pondered these concepts for a while, then asked his grandfather. “ Which wolf wins?”

The grandfather replied, “ the one you feed.” Thanks Paulette.


From Wally:

An old farmer’s advise

Keep skunks, bankers, and lawyers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Sometimes silence is the best answer.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll ever deal with watches you from the mirror every morning.
It doesn’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
Forgive your enemies. It confuses them.
Drink upstream from the herd.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to look like a pig.
Don’t argue with a fool. People can’t tell the two of you apart.
Most stuff people worry about never happens.
Every path will have puddles.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
If you think you are person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.

Again from Paulette, who is always teaching: True love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything and never forget Who to thank.

Eric